Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
