She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
