Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry johnr89 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord

Fav 10 3139 972
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent

Fav 18 950 5203
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

Fav 3 4364 822
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

I won't be sarcastic... just naked

Fav 6 5092 1197
share tweet
(909): View more from California

I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...

Fav 19 3605 1495
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long

Fav 1 1225 1829
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.

Fav 8 819 1599
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"

Fav 4 910 482
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Good Morning! You are sterile right?

Fav 0 17 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT