Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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