haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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