I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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