Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
