They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
