Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
