i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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