You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
