I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
