We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
