I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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