very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
