guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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