Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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