u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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