I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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