We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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