It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
