Where did you get a picture of my penis
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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