Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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