So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
