Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
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