I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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