READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
