His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
