so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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