the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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