no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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