If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
