when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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