Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
