I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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