We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
