Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
