i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I understand Curling. That high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
