You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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