walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my poor anus
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
