I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you win again, gameday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
