Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
