My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
