I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
