dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
