yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
