nut hugger
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
