Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
