Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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