I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
